What Makes A Kid Feel Loved?

So what makes a kid feel loved? Lots of toys? Getting to do what they want? Being spoiled?

I’ve always tried to be the best Dad I can be; making sure my kids had everything they needed, food on the table a roof over their head and clothes on their back. But I ran across a blog post by my son today that really made me feel like I had failed as a Dad.

My oldest son said in a blog post that he lives in a family were he doesn’t feel loved and wants to run off with his girlfriend. Now maybe I’m being overly concerned like most Dad’s. After all it could just be a rant on his part, but it still makes you wonder why the kid would say something like that. Especially when you see things differently.

I’ve always felt I give Josh pretty much everything he asks for. He doesn’t have a need for anything so I wonder if it’s a case where it’s not love that he feels is lacking but more so respect.

I can’t see why he would feel unloved, I get up early and go out of my way to drive him to school because he doesn’t like to ride the bus, I give him money for lunch cause he doesn’t like to brown bag it, I don’t ask him to do very much around the house. Basically he is in charge of taking out the garbage once a week and washing the dishes every other day. I don’t think that’s too much.

I can’t help but to think maybe its because I have never had the quality time to spend with him or his brothers / sister that would make him feel that way. My schedule is very hectic. I leave for work at 7am and get home around 6-6:30pm. Three nights a week I pick up my great niece from the sitter and feed and watch her until her mom gets off work. After picking her up, we eat dinner (if I convince Chris to cook) then if no one has anything going on, I work on my side job most of the night. which is usually betwee 9pm and midnight.

I could give up the side work, but that would mean less money coming in and the family as a whole would need to give up some of the luxuries they now have. It’s frustrating to feel like you are doing everything you can to help provide the things they want the most then hear comments like the kids don’t feel loved.

I wish I didn’t need to do the extra work or that I knew “HOW” to spend more time with the kids to make them happier but I don’t know what to do.

What makes a kid feel loved more? How do you spend quality time with the kids on a budget?

I could be over-reacting, but it still makes me sad to think all my efforts and sacrifices over the years have been for nothing…